the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
