I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We have started to decorate penises.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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