Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
