How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm always down for nudity.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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