if you like me you must not know who I am
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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