Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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