ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
