I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
