Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Im part way to drunk.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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