I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
