i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I could fuck to npr.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
