Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
