Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
