This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
