Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
