I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You smell like stripper and shame
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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