Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
