who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
