I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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