i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
