Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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