does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Naked Twister starts at high noon
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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