The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
