Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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