i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
