Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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