OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
