I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Randomize
