drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
