I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
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