I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
