just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My hand turned me down
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I need a beard to bite.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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