apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize