Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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