Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
