Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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