My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
