she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
