i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
