talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
