o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No subtext here. People are naked.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
