Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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