my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
