Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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