I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
