Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
