I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
