Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
