I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
