You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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