is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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