he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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