Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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