East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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