It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
