you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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