i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
