So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
