Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
