I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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