Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
