Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
try to milk me bitch
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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