And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
how does that bad decision feel?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
