I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize