She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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