I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
