My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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