what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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