dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
