I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
