what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
