this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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