I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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