you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize