All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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