This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize