Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
