HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
