hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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