Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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